The Laguna Beach on MTV

Recently Jason Wahler, aka Jason from Laguna Beach, took a break from his busy day job of being a useless schlub to talk to People magazine about how being famous contributed to his four arrests, underage binge drinking, rehab stints, and blackouts.

Memo to Jason from Laguna Beach: mugshots don’t count as photo shoots.

“Anyone who’s big in Hollywood who’s underage gets in [to clubs],” explained the ultra-important Jason from Laguna Beach, who must have made a habit of hiding in some shrubbery outside of Pure and sneaking in while they held the door open for Lindsay Lohan.

Unfortunately for both Jason and his future grandchildren, he tells People magazine that he doesn’t remember his arrests. I don’t think I’m alone in believing that every family Thanksgiving should include a heart-hugging story about getting thrown in the clink for wrestling in the lobby of a Marriott Hotel and punching a security guard in the mouth.

“Yayyyy Uncle Jason!! Do the part where they find you passed out in a third floor hallway!”

It’s too bad that all those paparazzi who must be tracking Jason from Laguna Beach’s every move didn’t get video of any of the four arrests or even any nice still shots that could be turned into a slideshow set to Jennifer Warnes and Bill Medley’s ‘Time of my Life’.

You’re probably wondering how useless my life must be if I’m actually taking time out of my day to write about Jason from Laguna Beach. Answer? Shockingly useless. There was no new Kristin Cavallari or Lauren Conrad news so it was either this or sort through my fuzz collection, and if I blew that on a Friday what would I have left for the weekend. Thank you Jason from Laguna Beach, you keep doing what you do.